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failing calculus.

okay now im beginning to accept that im goin to fail a subj. huhuhu. i mean i accept it but i can't. i accept it because im not really good in math but what i can't accept is that im goin to fail which is not me. i never fail a subj in my entire life so this is the first one. huhuhu. maybe il just do a lot better next time, and next time i will make it up to top, not just that but to assure never to fail again.

Damn im so freaking stupid in math. huhu. :((

i hate it. but i need to love math in order for math to love me back. =p

But im still hoping for a 1.0 maybe like less than 10% of hope. haha. kiddin. wel i need to get more than a hundred percent in the finals, wth. i barely don't know how to pass my quizzes, how the hell will i get a hundred percent in the finals. hahah :))

ill just have to pray harder. who knows, my prof suddenly changed his mind and passed me. hahah :)) thanks sir. amps. :(

haaay. maybe this is it. my first time to fail in college life. haay.. :((

first time!!

im very depressed today so what i did, i just sleep when i arrived home to lessen the depression.

I knew that im not going to do well in the quiz today because i really don't understand the topic though i study hard enough i bet it's still not enough. But what made my day super depressing and worse? it's the result of my quiz 2. I really paid extra attention to that quiz, super to the max study my lessons and consulted a friend, but what did i get? a failing mark!! shet. Im expecting a high grade but then it's worse than what i expected. soo sad. Maybe too much expectations are not good enough. waaaah. im doomed. what the hell im goin to do?

i need air! "HELP!!"

if ever im gonna fail this subj, i might as well fail to continue my life. hahaha .. very juvenile indeed. kidding, it's just failing a final grade is really not my thing, not being arrogant. but haaaay..

Maybe i did focuse my attention on speecom more, and that is one reason. speecom and calculus in summer class is not a good combination. i should've taken kaspil1 instead. haist. what shall i do?

The fact that im really not good in math, im just good in alge,geom in trig but not very much in calculus. huhuhuhu.

if i fail this subject, it's my first ever to fail a subj in my college life. soo sad. i have to accumulate the units. huhuhu. if ever, uhm, sana im goin to pass talaga or pag minalas, eh sana si raposa nalang talga prof namin next term.

i don't want to fail.. : ((

hand writing test. :)

Welcome Joenard Abelarde, here is your handwriting analysis.

Joenard uses judgment to make decisions. He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them. He is withdrawn into himself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Joenard does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets him mad enough to tell him off, he will not be sorry about it later. He puts a mark in his mind when someone angers him. He keeps track of these marks and when he hits that last mark he will let them know they have gone too far. He is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All his conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, he has poise.

Joenard will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, he will show his love by the things he does rather than by the things he says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because he feels his mate should already know. The only exception to this is if he has logically concluded that it is best for his mate to hear him express his love verbally.

Joenard is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to him, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of his sound judgment. He will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. He will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and he will always ask "Is this best for me?"

Joenard tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Joenard writes tiny all of the time, he will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Joenard will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. he might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When he is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and his ability to focus is incredible. When he says "he didn't hear you", he really means, he didn't hear you.

Joenard is sensitive to criticism about his ideas and philosophies. He will sometimes worry what people will think if he tells them what he believes in. This doesn't mean he won't talk, or that he feels ashamed. It merely means he is sensitive to what others think, regarding his beliefs.

Joenard will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

Joenard has a desire for attention. People around Joenard will notice this need. He may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on his own character.

Joenard can be defiant. He sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn't like it the way he is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which he thinks are infringing upon his freedom of action.

Joenard is a cumulative and procedural thinker. He likes to have all the facts before making a decision. He thinks or creates much like a brick mason, stacking fact upon fact. His thought pattern or the conclusion will not be complete until the last fact is in place. Like that brick wall, Joenard learns faster through visual demonstration than through quick verbal instructions. Once he has learned new material, and understood it, he won't forget.

Joenard is a methodical thinker, therefore he is able to build things and come up with new ideas. In an argument, he often loses to rapid thinking people because he is thinking thirty minutes later about what he should have said. These people often are very booksmart, but can be out-gunned in a rapid fire verbal debate.

He may learn new ideas at a slower pace than other "less detailed" people, but once he gets it, he can handle repetition. Some people hate jobs with too much repetition, he can handle it better than most.

Joenard is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Joenard basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.

Joenard is very self-sufficient. He is trying not to need anyone. He is capable of making it on his own. He probably wants and enjoys people, but he doesn't "need" them. He can be a loner.

Joenard is having a lack of physical energy at the time this handwriting was written. If someone has very short and straight down lower loops (like in the y or g), this indicates this person's physical drive (activity or sex) is compromised. Usually, this indicates the person simply isn't interested in getting too physical right now. This could be a temporary mood which often happens when the body is sick and is healing. Or, this could be a result of an emotional or physical issue that is effecting Joenard 's energy level and interest in sex. Sex doesn't seem to be a priority at the moment.

Something is incomplete in Joenard's life. He feels frustration relating to his physical needs and desires. Somewhere in his life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Joenard's sexual needs.

what to do?

im not in the mood to blog yesterday, or rather, im just very tired to do it. we've been to la meria, in binan laguna for a fiesta. then after that, i went to upd and trino which is between 5-6pm. coz we leave laguna by past 3pm. haist. super tired. went to upd and trino just to give the notebook to yanna. haaay. then i arrived home by past 8pm or quarter to 9pm. soo tired. i ate and then rest. and sleep. tsk.

ok. i dunno what to say, except that im terribly not in the mood to pursue my summer studies. xet. im soo stupid in mathematics. haist. i dunno what to do?

could someone help me.

(pati ung speecom nadadamay na though mejo maganda naman performance ku dun)

super maxado akong nadedepress sa calculus.

anyways. haist. kamusta naman ung 23/80. 1st quiz sa ccscal1. haist. tapos dunno how many are my plus grades. huhu. i doomed. i guess this is my first time to fail in my college life.

since ate ina has failures also, my sister did merit a failing mark in mathematics in her frosh life when she was still studyin (pero up un eh). and yanna did fail at first take, calculus, that's y she took summer (pero up rin un eh), haist,. i dunno. naiisip ko tuloy nakakahiya sa mga classmates ko nung HS, kasi as ive been receiving news from them, some of them are DL, and got high grades. sorry naman mahirap course ko eh. at mahirap din school ko. same goes with yanna. (kaya sana don't be judgemental, u don't even know what we're going thru!).

haaay. ang yabang yabang ku pa i took summer class at kailangan kong panindigan that i should pass. sorry naman. eh mahirap talaga. ok here's the thing, it's really easy, i mean easy, it's manageable. but i just have a mental black problems which is a bad thing. too bad. only after the test that i will realize that i should do this and that. damn it.

haaay. siguro i have to study later on! waaaah.

mejo nakakaiyak kasi ewanku.

what i feel right now? i feel like im a super stupid person sa math. what the hell. :((

pure luck, miracle and plus points is what i need and my only, last hope. i guess. :((

haist. i might need, have to ace the quiz tom. focus, focus. try to concentrate and be relaxed. chillax!

my fam and relatives are in batangas. haist. because of the quiz2 i didn't get the chance to go with them! pero it's ok.

if ever i fail this summer. then i might have to take it next term. and really ace it. as in aim for 4.0 if possible not just 2.5 to super, to the max, back to zero, the number of units i failed.

hahaha .:)) super tawa naman jan. papaburger talaga ako kapag naka 4.0 ako next term if ever i fail, or lalo na ngayon summer kung maka 4.0 pako. haha. wish ko lang. papacheese burger naman ako. haha :))

thanks to those people who helped me, with the moral support and those people who thought me. haist. bRo robin, yanna, my fam and friends, pauline and many more. haist. ;))

i dunNo if failing is normal, just like what ate ina said to me. it's just that it isnt normal to me. (not being arrogant at all) but i cant afford to lose a fight. though the battle hasnt ended yet. haist. i just duNno what to do if ever i fail. i might cut my wrist to death! haha :)) kidin.

thanks to yanna, thanks to you. u really are helping me the most. i love you sooo much. haha. :))

hope ull get a 1.0 flat in ur math 53!!'

college life is really hard! huhuhu.. :((

i might have to end my blog at this point. i guess. :) good luck for me tomoro. have to ace the test aim for 80-90%.

oh one more thing, guess i was wrong bout our teacher, he's really inspiring. and un. maybe failing is really normal and is part of college life, most importantly onm the real world. that's why thanks to him also, he's so kind and approacheable though i can't seem to understand the way of his teaching but all in all he's a nice teacher.. :))