Bill shut the door, walked down the pathway to his car and knew it was going to be a bad day. The alarm had not gone off; the toast had burnt; the papers had not arrived; and he was late. What else could happen? He hated these days: the ones that started out of ‘sync’. The ones were he felt it would be better to go back to bed and start over again.
Surprisingly, the traffic was okay, he had expected to be cursing and swearing all the way to work, at the slow drivers, the inconsiderate drivers, those who just seemed to get in the way. There was none of that though; it was a peaceful journey; and he felt that maybe, just maybe, things were going to get back in order.
At the office things did not improve. They got worse! During the course of the morning everything seemed to build up against him: more orders came in, making things become unmanageable; the incessant telephone calls broke his concentration; the constant interruptions, as people kept asked things of him. He fought to keep in control, to get things back in order; but knew he was losing the battle. Then finally, his secretary came into the office, with yet another problem that needed solving, immediately!
Why did he think it was her fault? Why did he decide to put all the blame on her for the burdens he was carrying? Why did he blame her because HIS morning had started off badly? He did though. She stood in the doorway holding a handful of papers and all his pent up fustration was unloaded upon her. She reeled under his barrage of unwarranted abuse. Tears welled up inside her. She wanted to help, but knew it was impossible. She placed the papers on the table and walked out, quietly closing the door.
Bill sat alone at his desk. His emotions subsiding. Strangely he felt better now. He had unloaded all his frustration. Got rid of it, on someone else; someone who had not deserved it. He felt guilty. His thoughts now turned to her. Now she was carrying his pain, his sadness. What could he do. He walked out the office to get a coffee, passing her desk on the way to the machine. He glanced at her, she wasn’t looking, her head was down. He could sense the tension between them, something had changed, something had broken. All of a sudden they were not a team anymore, not friends, not colleagues; they were strangers. Yesterday they had been good friends, working well together, as a team. Now something was lost. He sensed the silence and the coldness as he walked back into his office.
He tried to work, but he couldn’t; something was wrong. The door opened and his secretary walked in. Placed some papers on the table with a yellow stick-it note on top, turned without saying anything; and walked back out.
Towards the end of the morning things had not improved. The atmosphere grew more tense. He knew he must do something; it was his fault. Going for another coffee could be a chance to try and set things straight, he thought; though he did not know how. Thoughts raced through his mind. Even if he tried to speak to her, he expected her to reject his initiative. Anyway what could he say to her? What reasons could he give? Could anything he say be of any use now? As he filled his cup from the machine he turned to look at her, she was working, not paying any attention to him. He turned to go back into the office; but he knew he could not pass her desk without saying anything. He must make the first move. He must humble himself. With great effort he stopped and walked around the side of her desk. She looked up at him; not in any intimate way, just in the way a secretary looks at her boss, waiting for his instruction. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘I should not have said that to you, it’s not your fault, it’s mine.’
The ice was broken, they sat and talked about what had happened. The working relationship was restored, they were friends again. As he walked back into his office, he was warmed by the ease with which she had forgiven him. There was no animosity from her; just forgiveness. He felt something powerful in this, something he had not known before; most people would have held a grudge. He shut the door. What he didn’t notice though was his secretary quietly praying for him.
No comments:
Post a Comment